Pika Duel
by Alice White
Summary: What do you get when Team Rocket crosses Yugioh? A one shot humor fanfiction.


Yes this is my first attempt at a Yu-gi-oh fanfiction and a crossover and you should be afraid. Very afraid because I'm a bad writer but read on if you dare. Also be aware that I know next to nothing about Pokemon and very little about Yu-gi-oh! Also be aware that the little star astrick mark against some sentences mean that I took a quote off some site and altered it a bit to fit the situation. Other then that most of the dialog was writtten from my deranged brain. I think we all know who own Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! by now so don't think I created them okay? Same thing goes for Ranma 1/2 too!  
  
Note that there may be foul language lots of violence and other really bad things so BEWARE!  
  
Enjoy this tasty hard candy fanfiction fusion!TM  
  
After being launched in the air so many times via Pikachu Express the members of the ill fated Team Rocket Meowth, Jessie and James figured that their fates could not get any worse then this so they adopted a nonchalance attitude and were currently having tea while sailing through the stratosphere.  
  
"All in all I say that this was one of our best plans at capturing that Pikachu." Jessie commented while daintly sipping her tea. She wasn't an uber fashion model/actress/diva/legendary pokemon mistress for nothing you know. Despite other people claiming otherwise.  
  
"Our crush them with a large medicine ball and nab the rat while they're unconscious scheme would have worked too if that red head hadn't smashed it right back into us."  
  
James drank his tea like a gentlemen. Years of training by the hands of his parents and one relentless stalker by the name of Jessiebelle could have that effect on a person.  
  
"Who knew that the word tomboy could drive him over the edge like that?" Jessie shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a cookie off a plate as it passed by.  
  
"Why? I told Misty that he was the perfect rolemodel for boys and that if we weren't enemies we could have been best pals." James took a big bite out of his cookie.  
  
"Now that I think of it James wasn't Misty a girl at the time?" Jessie had her hand cupped under her chin in deep thought.  
  
"Eh, could had fooled me."  
  
At that moment an unwanted member of their team decided to let his opinion be heard.  
  
"Hey! you must give food to the great Meowth! Without me your plans would have never gotten off the ground!"  
  
"Well you certainly right about one thing we're certainly off the ground now." James poured himself a fresh cup of tea and added two cubes of suger.  
  
Jessie twacked Meowth with a rolled up newspaper.  
  
"No tea for you!"  
  
A silence passed between the team that would have been done justice by a tumbleweed rolling pass but since they're in the air it would look rather silly wouldn't it?  
  
"Can you at least untie me now?"  
  
Jessie glanced at the bondaged Meowth who was turning pale as the ropes were cutting off his circulation and gave the matter some thought.  
  
"No."   
  
Eventually as it always happens Team Rocket went from free fall to screaming through the air at one hundred twenty five miles an hour or whatever the reader thinks counts as an alarming speed.  
  
"No! Oh God, why can't I own anything nice? why!!!" Jessie shriked as the beloved tea caddy with refreshing beverages and much loved goodies went flying upwards.  
  
James was too preoccupied to notice Jessie's plight with what you ask?  
  
"Oh look! It's one of those Sarago tumble weed catus thingie! Hi little feller! Can you adopt me and take me far away from here?"  
  
Truth is stranger then fiction....wait that isn't right.  
  
"Looks like Team Rocket's burning up again!" screamed Jessie as they went through the Earth's atmosphere.  
  
"No!" James cried as his potential adoptive plant was incinerated.  
  
"Why must everything that I love die?"  
  
Meowth at times could show a wisdom all his own.  
  
"I hate you guys."  
  
If by some chance the reader bothered to look up the earth athmosphere online there is a really good chance that I, the author, am wrong. But as anyone knows this is fanfiction and the facts be damned and tossed out the nearest window. On a lighter note we switch over to Yugi and his friends the people who you really want to read about. Besides who gives a damn about that has been Pokemon anyway?  
  
The gang was walking on some street when they noticed the odd weather phenomenon.  
  
"Guys what is that thing?" Yugi pointed at the red streak streaking across the sky.  
  
"Good call Yugi! I really have no idea what that is." Tea scanned the horizon with her hand. Yugi was always the first to notice things like this, with being a King of Games and having an ancient guy living inside him and all.  
  
Tristen and Joey chose that moment to appear on the scene.  
  
"YO!" * Joey grinned widely sticking his tumb out in an traditional non Japanese Victory Pose.  
  
Yugi blinked.  
  
"Why would you just show up? weren't you already with as from the begining?"  
  
Tristen gave Yugi a patent Daze and Confused look.  
  
Tea kindly pointed out the sentence nine paragraphs up and if you still can't find it then that means I'm worse at English then I thought I was.  
  
"Oh! Well I'm an unimportant character and that statement does not apply to me half the time!" Tristen scratched the back of his head while a large sweatdrop ran down his head.  
  
"I don't know what emotion you were just trying to convey but I'll assume it's unoffensive." Tea then turned her attention to Joey who was currently assulting Yugi proclaiming largely "ADRIENE!" *  
  
"What with him?"  
  
"Oh, Joey has discovered Rambo and made it his religion." A devil's tail snaked it's way out of Tristen's butt along with a part of horns and a pointy stick.  
  
"Riiiggghhht." It was now Tea's turn to produce the large water drop effect.  
  
True to form and fashion Team Rocket could not but help make a flashly entrance.  
  
They crashed to the ground like a rock.  
  
Oh well it would do for now.  
  
Unaffected by the fall the group got up and immediately started arguing.  
  
"Blah, Blah, Blah, this all your fault Jessie!" The blue haired boy pointed angerily.  
  
"Blah, Screw, Blah, Blah, Blah James!" The red head starting punching the blue haired boy in fury.  
  
"When I'm done with you, Blah, Blah, Blah, Murder, Blah, Blah, Pieces, Blah, Blah, State!" The talking cat with it's claws extended decended on them both.  
  
They begin to fight Looney Tunes style.  
  
"Guys knock it off!" Tristen was about to break off the brawl but Team Rocket snapped out of it and were standing there calm and composed a pie hit Tristen in the face for good measure.  
  
Jessie threw her arms out wide.  
  
"PREPARE FORRRRRRRRR....."  
  
"Wait! just one moment please!" Yugi pleaded throwing Jessie off her stance how dare he throw off THE motto? it just wasn't done I teel you!  
  
"What do you want kid?" Jessie said her ego throughly deflated.  
  
"It's just that I heard the motto about a kagillion times already that I know it by heart." Yugi smiled.  
  
"Hey Yugi's right! I could come up with better speeches in my sleep!" Tea beamed and I think we all knows what happens next.  
  
"Want to hear one?  
  
The sound of a thousands hands slapping pinned Tea against the wall, as a lot of hands were shoved up against her mouth.  
  
"Dear Lord No!"  
  
"I think we heard enough out you for today young lady!"  
  
"A panic button and a remote control should come with a Tea sappy speech alarm system! so that the said vicious robots can be deployed and, perhaps, remote-controlled from a safe distance away!" *  
  
All eyes were on the light purple haired kid aka Ryu aka Bakura aka I -shall -soon- have- THE-Puzzle- who's- first- name- I -can't- spell- cause -I'm- the- best- Tomb- Robber- in- the-freaking-world!  
  
Bakura took the wide eyed stares of shock in stride.  
  
"We used to spend hours at primary school when I was 8 or 9 doing this kind of thing: lasers, crocodiles, spikes, traps, gun turrets, wolves, radioactive sludge, tanks, leeches, walls of fire, etc." * He counted down the list with his fingers.  
  
Yet another thing about Bakura that you didn't want to know about unless, of course, if you're a fan of his then it's a different story.  
  
"FORGET THE DAMN SPEECH! WEEZING GO!"  
  
"Huh?" Jessie woke up from her nice long nap and saw James pokemon out of it's ball.  
  
"Oh, yeah...ARBOK GO!!" The pokemon gave it's trademark yell as it broke free from it's container.  
  
"ANY AND ALL POKEMON THAT THE AUTHOR MAY FORGOT AND CAN'T RECALL AT THIS TIME GET OUT HERE NOW!!" both Team Rocket members yelled as they tossed out the rest of their pokeballs.  
  
After a few pretty explosions and seizure inducing effects later the entire loser force was assembled.  
  
"TEAM ROCKET KICKING YOUR A$@ AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, GIVE UP YOUR POKEMON NOW! OR PREPARE FOR A FIGHT!"  
  
Meowth jumped up smiling as he momentarily sat suspended in mid air.  
  
Only to be sent crashing down to earth by the ever loving punches of his team mates.  
  
"Meowth weren't you listening when James called off the speech?"  
  
"Says the women who was busy dreaming things of a questionable nature." James smiled ironically.  
  
Jessie looked down at her feet and blushed.  
  
"And they say that I have the potty mouth geez!" The cat tenderly rubbed the large bump on it's forehead.  
  
The wind blew through Joey's hair and a newspaper flew by him creating that desolate alley atmosphere that one gets sometimes before a really good fight breaks out.  
  
"Are you saying dat two hundred of our men against your boy is a no win situtation for us?" * Joey smiled cockily.   
  
"Um, excuse me but unless you have an invisible team of assassins waiting for us we currently outnumber you seven to six." Jessie calmly stated.  
  
"God%@&*@ woman! do ya have ta go and ruin all my cool lines!" Joey screeched grabbing his hair as he went down into Meltdown Combo # 1.  
  
"Don't worry Joey she won't be around to torture you anymore!" A familiar deep voice sounded.  
  
"YU-GI-OH!!!!!!!" Everyone screamed.  
  
"Oh My!" James said after coming down from the adrenaline rush. "That was quite fun!"  
  
"Yes." Tea smiled broadly. "Yes it was."   
  
Yugi who was now Yami glared the enemy down after finishing his magical girl...I mean boy transformation.  
  
"It's time to end this charade Kiba.... No! I mean Pegas....Wait! Stop in the name of the law Merick! or is it Malick?"  
  
Tristan wasn't the only one with a Dazed and Confused look on that day.  
  
Jessie regarded the newcomer coldly.  
  
"Who's the twerp?"  
  
AHA! Joey pointed at women wildly here was a quote that she COULDN'T POSSIBLY mess up!  
  
"You don't seem to want to accept who you are dealing with. You are dealing with a man who is an expert--with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, to ignore weather. To live off the land and eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Vietnam, his mission was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill, period. Win by attrition. Well, Rambo was the best." *(direct quote here people yeah!)  
  
"Eat that B^#@@&!"  
  
  
  
Joey expected to be praised for his clever wit, heck even the average person can come up with a cool one liner at one time or another.  
  
To his horror the exact opposite happened.  
  
"I am NOT familiar with GUNS and billy goat PUKE and my name is NOT rambo it's YAMI !"  
  
"You could have fooled me PHARAOH" Bakura commented snidely " I heard that you were involved with goats on a daily basis."  
  
Yami's deadly look could have melt the sun.  
  
"Don't push me TOMB ROBBER....."  
  
What else could have been said was forgotten as the Pharoh tackled the Tomb Robber while said Robber was trying to get in postion where he could poke out said Pharoh's eyes with his M Ring thingie.  
  
While Tristan was trying to stop yet another fight Tea was trying to recover from the blatantly violent ridden quote that Joey had just spewed forth from his vile mouth. Such a thing should have been stricken from the human language! It wasn't proper! It wasn't nice! It wasn't friendship friendly.....  
  
Then Tea begin to retreat to a happy place, a place that existed and operated outside of what normal people would call real life. A place so suger filled and well mannered sweet that if it were a kid's television show that we watched in our younger days and our own kids ask us if we ever saw it, we would openly deny it. Because we were stupid back then and we want the knowledge of that stupidness to die like a thousand sitcoms.  
  
As Tea's eyes filled with suger induced denial, the sound of Joey bashing his head against the brick wall grew louder and louder.  
  
He was being mocked AND ridiculed at the same time!  
  
Why couldn't anyone EVER take him seriously?  
  
While all this chaos was going on Team Rocket decided to make a hasty retreat from the crazed individuals but not before grabbing something for a souvenir.  
  
"Hey!" The Pharaoh exclaimed while in the middle of giving the Tomb Robber a wedgie. "My deck is gone!"  
  
"&%&%&$%$#%#%$3!!" The Tomb Robber swore as he gave the Pharaoh the finger. "Mine is gone too!"  
  
Tristen slammed both the Tomb Robber and the Pharaoh up against the wall. " You ^^&%%#@% better give mine back or I'll make you *&^*$$$ pay!" He growled while giving both of them The Evil Eye.  
  
The sound of Tea sobbing against the wall was enough to make them pause and divert their attention slightly.  
  
"No one stole my deck because it was too weak and pathetic looking!" Tea wailed as she came out her surger induced high.  
  
Tristen turned back to his prey and smilled evily.  
  
"Now where were we?"  
  
Somewhere across the city in a kick@#@ mansion the Kiba brothers were staring at starry sky while on the top of their roof.  
  
"Big Brother how come Team Rocket didn't steal YOUR deck." Mokuba asked innocently.  
  
"Because...." Kiba paused and smiled widely.  
  
"I'm such a bad @%% that's why."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Meanwhile a few hundred yards down the street...  
  
"Jessie do you think these cards are pokeballs or something?" James commented as he looked at a card with a funny pointy eared person on it.  
  
"I don't know James but when the boss get a load of this, we're bound to get a promotion!"  
  
"Or a raise!" James squealed.   
  
"Even better yet...." Meowth could barely contain his excitement.  
  
"GLORIOUS FOOD!!!"   
  
"TEAM ROCKET IS VICTORIOUS FOR ONCE IN OUR ENTIRE LIVES!!" They all exclaimed.  
  
"What a haul, what a haul!" Said a certain perverted martial artist as he passed by.  
  
"You said it old man!" Winked Jessie and the entire party went down the street laughing toward Pokemon Land, Yipee ki Yea!  
  
A person emerged from the wreckage left behind.  
  
"Stupid author! I was supposed to be the funniest! I was going to   
  
exposed that low down dirty cheatin Yugi and his cheatin ways for the entire world to see!"  
  
He sighed. "Doesn't anyone out there appreciate what I'm trying to do here?"  
  
Well there was someone out there who did, kinda of, sort of, maybe....  
  
He watched as a piece of underwear descended from above.  
  
Except for all the wrong reasons.  
  
IT landed on top of his head.  
  
"Keep it in good health me boy!" said Happosai as he dashed off while his many secret admires closed in on the boy like an angry swarm of killer bees.  
  
"Pervert!" A girl swatted him with her broom.  
  
"Freak!" Yet another was bound and determined on malleting him to death  
  
"Die!" You don't want to what this one was intending it's just wrong I tell you.  
  
As the young man was being dragged off to the tenth level of hell one thought was on his mind.  
  
"I hate you...Yugi.....@#$% you author......"  
  
Yes the author wishes it to be known that it was Duke Devlin that was being dragged to his demise I did have a scene with Duke in mind but as you can see my insanity got away with me. I accepted any and all flames and welcome them with open arms just be glad that I ended when I did. I don't think it would have been funny if I add any more to it. Oh yeah before I forget I got the star astrick quotes that I used off off this site http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Rambo_20House go check it out will you? 


End file.
